The Throbs – The Language of Thieves and Vagabonds (1991)

3.5 out of 5 Stars!

I still vaguely recall all the silly and preposterous hoopla surrounding The Throbs when the New York band first appeared on the scene in the early ’90s. The PR department at Geffen Records worked endlessly to make people believe how this band was destined for the big time, how The Throbs were the next Guns N’ Roses and would thoroughly and masterfully take over all of planet Earth with a debut album loaded with such infectious and rapturous music that even die-hard fans of Jazz, Soul, Rap, Country and even Classical, Opera, and every other genre imaginable would instantly switch allegiance to The Throbs, and only The Throbs, for the rest of eternity. Yes, the over-the-top hype pushed the notion that it would soon become the world of The Throbs, like it or not, with people of all races, all religions, all ages, and even America’s Republicans and Democrats, all banding together to honor the magnificence of this act, and (ultimately) praise Geffen Records for discovering such a life-altering musical treasure.

Well, needless to say, this grand and glorious destiny did not occur, not even close, even despite the fact the album was co-produced by the heavy-hitting team of Bob Ezrin and Richard “Dick” Wagner, or that it even included a guest appearance by Little Richard himself. I can’t help but wonder whether Geffen Records fired the head of its PR department for not making “instant worldwide fame” happen, or perhaps canned someone in the art department for approving an almost unreadable band logo to grace the way-too-cluttered album cover, or maybe even dumped someone higher up for not foreseeing the sudden advent of a monster genre called Grunge. Well, whatever the various fates of those record company “suits,” the band itself—fronted by a dude with the way-too-cutesy name of Ronnie Sweetheart—did seem to try its level best to leave a mark on the industry.

The Language of Thieves and Vagabonds, the group’s sole album, contained some fun music, mostly foot-tappin’ and sleazy rock ‘n’ roll loaded with hooks that (somewhat) had a Guns N’ Roses style and swagger. But to me, the rocking tracks such as “Sweet Addition,” “Come Down Sister,” “Rip It Up,” “It’s Not the End of the World,” “Underground,” and the Little Richard-enhanced “Ecstasy” sounded more like The Cult (Sonic Temple-era) with a touch of Hanoi Rocks, The Quireboys, and The Dogs D’Amour, whereas the two ballads included in this collection—”Honey Child” and “Dreamin'”—seemed to take on a similar vibe to The Rolling Stones, L.A. Guns, The Black Crowes, and other straightforward groups unafraid to include acoustic guitar into the mix.

So, even though The Throbs offered nothing at all innovative when it came to its music or its “hairsprayed and eyelinered” image, The Language of Thieves and Vagabonds did deliver some fairly decent tracks and a whole lot of attitude, thanks mostly to Sweetheart’s snarling lead vocals. But then again, so did countless other albums of the era by countless other equally talented bands. Unfortunately, after that “instant worldwide fame” thing didn’t happen for The Throbs, Geffen (no shock) dropped the group within the better part of a year and certainly went on to hype the “next big thing” that likely never occurred. Oh, well, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, right?

Get The Album Now!

Heartbreakers – L.A.M.F. (1977)

4 out of 5 Stars!

Featuring both guitarist Johnny Thunders and drummer Jerry Nolan from New York Dolls, along with bassist Billy Rath and guitarist Walter Lure, Heartbreakers (also known as Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers) released only one album, but what a killer platter it was.

Punchy and energetic tracks such as “I Wanna Be Loved,” “Baby Talk,” “Do You Love Me,” “Goin’ Steady,” “Chinese Rocks,” and the blazing opener “Born to Lose” barrel from the speakers “Like A M*ther F*cker,” hence the album’s abbreviated title. Similar to Sex Pistols, the guitars sound frenzied and full on the majority of the fourteen tunes, yet almost like New York Dolls, also wonderfully sloppy and slovenly. And the always defiant and typically off-key lead vocals match the fury of both aforementioned groups, which gives the down-‘n’-dirty music extra debauched charm and garage-band character.

Therefore, crammed with both punkish attitude and youthful exuberance, a cacophony of pounding rhythms and singalong choruses, the band had enough snarl and swagger to give the mighty Sex Pistols a run for the sleazy moolah. But alas, also like the Pistols, narcotics and personal mayhem took a toll on the band members, and Heartbreakers splintered apart after releasing this one full-length studio album, which ended up being a classic of the genre, and a ferocious, disobedient, and long-lasting sockdolager to the musical jaw.

Get The Album Now!

Beautiful Creatures – Beautiful Creatures (2001)

3.5 out of 5 Stars!

Chancing upon a band with a name such as Beautiful Creatures, one could easily assume the group played wonderfully sweet and melodic pop music, but that’s so darned far from reality. Instead, what we have here is some dirty, sleazy, greasy, and kick-ass Hard Rock/Glam Metal in the same realm of groups such as Guns n’ Roses, Vain, L.A. Guns, Roxx Gang, Faster Pussycat, or a host of other loud ‘n’ rude “hair bands” from the ’80s.

Indeed, led by gruff vocalist Joe LeSte (formerly of the talented Bang Tango) and including musicians from several of those aforementioned groups, including guitarists DJ Ashba (Guns n’ Roses/Bulletboys) and Anthony Focx (Bang Tango), bassist Kenny Kweens (L.A. Guns), and drummer Glen Sobel (Bang Tango/Impellitteri), Beautiful Creatures delivered two albums of slamming, glamming, and catchy Hard Rock with a touch of Grunge, Blues, and Industrial Metal.

Fans of “hair bands” from the ’80s and the early ’90s will likely find much to enjoy on this debut. Tunes such as “Wasted,” “Kick Out,” “Goin’ Off,” “1 A.M,” “Step Back,” and “Kickin’ for Days,” blast from the speakers with wicked riffs and thundering percussion, and thanks to LeSte’s vocals, a ton of attitude that could easily match the furious punches thrown by any of the acts that found themselves heavily rotated on MTV during that channel’s heyday. Additionally, the band includes several ballads/semi-ballads for variety—”Time and Time Again,” “Wish,” and “Blacklist”—where the inclusion of acoustic guitar and the occasional background keyboards make for a nice change of pace.

In truth, there’s absolutely nothing innovative or profound on this album, just pure, loud, and rebellious fun. So once again, be warned: these particular “creatures” are far from “beautiful.”

Get The Album Now!

Alice Cooper – The Eyes of Alice Cooper (2003)

3.5 out of 5 Stars!

After the original and legendary band fell apart midway through the ’70s, Alice “Vincent Furnier” Cooper went on to produce an endless string of solo albums that, for the most part, never really impressed me. Apart from one or two releases (most notably Welcome to My Nightmare, his first solo outing), none of his material from the late ’70s and through the ’80s/’90s truly brought to mind the high level of creativity, amusing theatrics, or raw “garage band” energy of that original lineup. Instead, typically backed by a slew of faceless and glossy studio musicians, Furnier’s music often proved too slick, too sanitized, too over-produced, and sometimes even too “Bon Jovi-ish” for its own good, despite the often “dark” lyrics, which (aside from the spidery eye makeup) seemed about the only holdover from the olden days. Plus, since I still continue to replay the classic albums from the original band (Killer, Love It To Death, Easy Action, Muscle of Love, etc.) on a surprisingly regular basis, Furnier’s solo material just never could compete for my attention.

But thankfully, and finally, 2003’s The Eyes of Alice Cooper album comes close, or at least it does when talking about a more “garage band” sound. That became crystal clear the moment I heard the blazing opener, “What Do You Want From Me?” followed by another driving tune, “Between High School and Old School.” The guitars are thick and loaded with feedback, while the bass is thumping and the drums are slamming, just like the good ol’ days of the original group. Although for a variety of reasons, some tracks still don’t work for me on a guttural level (such as “Man of the Year,” “Be With You Awhile,” or the overly poppy “Novocaine”), there are enough old-school rough ‘n’ rowdy rockers like “I’m So Angry,” “Detroit City,” “Love Should Never Feel Like This,” “Spirits Rebellious,” and “Backyard Brawl,” plus the weird track “This House is Haunted,” that periodically mirror the original band’s glam rock/shock rock/garage rock genius. Indeed, after all these many years, with the punchy and punkish sound quality and the (mostly) consistent style of the songs, I can almost imagine guitarists Glen Buxton (RIP) and Michael Bruce, bassist Dennis Dunaway, and drummer Neal Smith wielding the instruments and backing up Furnier’s snarling, rebellious vocals.

Granted, I still feel this album lacks an ultra-snappy single as strong as (for instance) “Eighteen” or “Under My Wheels” or “School’s Out,” and no song comes close to resembling the creepy magnificence of a classic such as “Halo of Flies” or “Ballad of Dwight Fry” or “Dead Babies,” yet the stripped-down sound of the original band has been somewhat replicated on The Eyes of Alice Cooper, so to me it’s one of most enjoyable of Furnier’s solo albums since the original Alice Cooper’s Muscle of Love from 1973.

Get The Album Now!

Sweet – Off the Record (1977)

4 out of 5 Stars!

Sweet’s seventh release, Off the Record, continues in the same style as the trio of platters that immediately preceded it (Sweet Fanny Adams, Desolation Boulevard, and Give Us a Wink), featuring some slamming and glamming Hard Rock, occasionally bordering on Metal, with each track laden with the wickedly rich, layered, and trademarked background harmonies Sweet did to perfection, surpassed (perhaps) only by Queen.

Off the Record is one of the band’s heaviest albums, thanks mainly to Andy Scott’s chunky and blazing guitars, and is crammed with powerful tunes such as “She Gimme Lovin’,” “Lost Angels,” “Live for Today,” “Fever of Love,” “Hard Times,” “Midnight to Daylight,” and “Stairway To The Stars,” while the lengthier and more complex track “Windy City” (with its “Woman From Tokyo”-like riff) easily ranks in my “Top 5 List” of best songs Sweet ever recorded. Despite the “heavy factor,” the band retains its catchy pop sensibilities throughout, with the majority of choruses being of “sing-along caliber,” and for diversity’s sake, the band also includes a lighter moment on the beautiful “Laura Lee” and a heaping dosage of funk on the appropriately named “Funk It Up (David’s Song),” which incidentally is my least favorite Sweet song on this or any other album within the band’s catalogue.

Therefore, for lovers of Hard Rock who wrote off the band due to its early pop hits such as “Wig Wam Bam” or “Little Willy” and are unfamiliar with this phase in the band’s varied history, Off the Record may come as a pleasant surprise. In many respects, mid-’70s Sweet had little in common with the original version of the group—no “bubblegum rock” here, only punchy, well-performed, and melodic Hard Rock with a Glam Rock edge, plus some of the most creative and stunning multi-layered background vocals in rock ‘n’ roll history.

Get The Album Now!

Britny Fox – Britny Fox (1988)

3.5 out of 5 Stars!

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the glamming, slamming Britny Fox had much in common with the band Cinderella…not only regarding its city of origin, but some of its personnel, its overall rocking sound and big-haired image, and (as it turns out) its ultimate “level of fame”—although Cinderella undoubtedly had a tad more of the latter (and a head start) thanks to becoming “MTV darlings” upon the release of its debut album several years earlier.

Regardless, even though the bands are so darned similar, with the raspy vocals, the beefy guitars, the driving rhythms, and the infectious choruses, I preferred Britny Fox overall, finding the band’s first two albums more consistent than those by Cinderella (which noticeably altered its style between its debut and sophomore albums).

Anyway, with catchy boot-stompers such as “Long Way to Love,” “In America,” “Girlschool,” “Kick ‘n’ Fight,” “Hold On,” “Rock Revolution,” and a rollicking version of Slade’s “Gudbuy T’ Jane,” Britny Fox delivered some often-engaging material. “Dizzy” Dean Davidson’s lead vocals seem a cross between Cinderella’s Tom Keifer and Nazareth’s Dan McCafferty, therefore it didn’t seem particularly odd that the music also comes off as a blending of these two bands, with perhaps extra inspiration from groups such as Kiss, Quiet Riot, W.A.S.P., Black ‘n’ Blue, Tesla, and several other acts from the era.

Whatever the case, Britny Fox’s self-titled debut album proved especially addictive to fans of the “hair metal” genre during the fun yet silly, sleazy yet glittering, and mascara-lined and Aqua Net-infested ’80s, and truth be told, the music on this platter holds up rather well even all these decades later.

Get The Album Now!

Mott – Shouting & Pointing (1976)

5 out of 5 Stars!

After legendary Mott The Hoople lost Ian Hunter and Mick Ronson, then found a replacement vocalist in Nigel Benjamin and a keen guitarist in Ray Majors, the revised lineup shortened its name to simply Mott and released the album Drive On to mixed reviews. I, for one, thought the album rather disjointed, with some truly brilliant fare mixed with way too many hackneyed moments, but nevertheless showing the quintet’s potential.

The following year, however, after finding its “musical legs” with the new band members, Mott returned with Shouting & Pointing. Not only did that potential displayed on the debut album come to fruition, but far exceeded all of my initial expectations.

In my eyes, Shouting & Pointing is a lost and (mostly) forgotten gem, 5 Stars all the way!

The A Side is a perfect collection of tunes, from the bombastic “Shouting and Pointing,” to the rocking “Collision Course” and “Storm,” to the outstanding ballad “Career (No Such Thing as Rock ‘n’ Roll).” On these four tracks alone, Nigel Benjamin shows his true talent, his vocals sassy and sneering and soaring, while Ray Major also displays his chops with some expert riffs, fills, and power chords. Morgan Fisher’s piano excursions were never more awesome, while the long-standing rhythm team of bassist Overend Watts and drummer Dale “Buffin” Griffin kicked butt in the same tight and driving tradition as they did in “Hoople.”

And the B Side is pretty damned good also, and a bit more diverse. With Overend Watts taking control of the microphone, “Hold On, You’re Crazy” kicks off the proceedings, reminding me of the tune “Born Late ’58,” which he wrote and also sung on MTH’s The Hoople album. “See You Again” is a sparse and catchy rocker with wonderfully tasty and countrified guitar fills likening back to Major’s previous group Hackensack, whereas the rip-roaring “Too Short Arms (I Don’t Care)” is pure Mott The Hoople, with a slightly out-of-tune piano tinkling throughout, giving the impression of the band performing in a smoky pub in some hidden corner of London. “Broadside Outcasts” is the strangest song, a tune that, thanks to the chord patterns during the bridge and the overall instrumentation, partially seemed destined to become another teenage-rebel anthem similar to those written by David Bowie for Mott The Hoople such as “All The Young Dudes” or “Drive-In Saturday” (the latter was offered to MTH, but the band oddly turned it down), but the chorus kicks in with tongue-in-cheek vocal silliness and turns the song completely topsy-turvy. And finally, the band recorded a rousing version of Vanda/Young’s “Good Times” to close out the album, which easily blows the original version by The Easybeats to smithereens.

It’s a crying shame that Mott broke up shortly after releasing this album (or rather, it lost Nigel Benjamin and replaced him with John Fiddler, ultimately becoming British Lions). With Shouting & Pointing proving exactly what this lineup could accomplish, I had prayed Mott would stay together forever.

Get The Album Now!

W.A.S.P. – Helldorado (1999)

4 out of 5 Stars!

The often-maligned yet ever-determined L.A. glam rockers W.A.S.P. closed out the last century with a “back to basics” album—meaning no dark or introspective conceptual themes, no linked or orchestrated or experimental tracks, just raucous and rowdy and rebellious tunes with Blackie Lawless shrieking his lungs raw, blazing guitars, and thundering rhythms.

And let’s not forget the other band trademark from the early days of its existence—rude and raunchy (ie. juvenile) lyrics about (you guessed it) sex, sex, and, oh yes, more sex. (Or S.E.X. in grand W.A.S.P. tradition.)

In my eyes, nothing will ever beat the band’s self-titled debut from 1984, a brutal and blistering 5-Star affair through and through, but Helldorado—with slamming tracks such as “Cocaine Cowboys,” “Saturday Night Cockfight,” “Dirty Balls,” “Don’t Cry (Just Suck),” “Hot Rods to Hell (Helldorado Reprise),” and the title track itself—is at least a decent attempt at revisiting that album’s overall “take no prisoners” style.

And one final note—play it L.O.U.D!

Get The Album Now!

Eno – Here Come the Warm Jets (1974)

4.5 out of 5 Stars!

Leaving Roxy Music after two masterpiece albums, “tapes treatment” and synth wizard Brian Eno created his first solo album with the aid of most of his former Roxy bandmates, as well as Chris Spedding, John Wetton, and Robert Fripp and many other guests, delivering his own masterpiece of Art Rock with a healthy dose of Glam. And although the music isn’t too dissimilar from Eno’s work with Roxy Music on the band’s debut release and For Your Pleasure, the experimentation here is at a much higher level.

Here Come the Warm Jets is completely unique to my ears, surreal yet accessible, zany yet catchy, sinister yet welcoming, with musical gems such as “Baby’s On Fire,” “Dead Finks Don’t Talk,” “Driving Me Backwards,” “The Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch,” and “Blank Frank”—oh, hell, in truth, every one of the ten tracks is golden—all being mind-blowing when it came to overall creativity and general “goofiness.”

Simply stated, when it comes to the avant-garde melody lines, the curious lyrical content, the eccentric instrumentation, or the innovative production techniques, sound effects, and “treatments” Eno gives to the various instruments and vocals, this is Art Rock at its finest. No wonder the man has become a musical living legend.

Get The Album Now!

Be-Bop Deluxe – Axe Victim (1974)

4.5 out of 5 Stars!

To me, Britain’s Be-Bop Deluxe was one of the most overlooked and finest “Art Rock” groups in history, with also one of the best “unsung guitar heroes” by the name of Bill Nelson.

At the beginning of its way-too-short history, though, the group debuted with Axe Victim, which at first glance (and listen) seemed almost a “David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust” clone. At the time of this album’s release, Be-Bop Deluxe had all different band members from its future “classic” line-up—apart from Bill Nelson himself, of course—and wasn’t as much Art Rock as it was Glam, with all members wearing (again) Ziggy Stardust-type clothing and make-up, and playing a musical style that, in many respects, eerily mimicked the Ziggy album.

The one big difference, however, was Bill Nelson’s instantly recognizable lead vocals along with his signature guitar tone and playing technique—not even close to Mick Ronson’s—which was highly advanced for the era. Plus, closer comparisons between the two albums reveals that Bill’s songwriting skills were also quite different from Bowie’s, and on hearing Axe Victim—especially tracks such as “Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape,” “Third Floor Heaven,” “Jets at Dawn,” “Night Creatures,” and the title tune, for example—you could easily anticipate the various changes about to occur regarding the band’s upcoming shift toward Art Rock, which would arrive on the second album.

Get The Album Now!